What Your Valentine Actually Wants

A guide for anyone who feels ‘bad at Valentine’s Day.’ Here's a hint: you’re probably overthinking it.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a production. No pressure, no panic, no grand gestures that require a reservation three weeks in advance. What we all actually want is pretty simple: to feel seen and thought about.

That applies whether you’ve been dating for three weeks, three years, or what feels like a lifetime. Thoughtful always beats flashy. And luckily, thoughtful is easier than it sounds!

Flowers (Yes, Still Flowers)
No need to overthink it. Go to Whole Foods. Pick out flowers you think they’ll love. If arranging isn’t your thing, even better, they’ll do it for you and wrap it in paper. It looks intentional, not last-minute. Bonus points if you choose their favorite flowers instead of default red.

Chocolate Isn’t Always the Answer

Some people love chocolate. Some people politely tolerate it. Instead of the standard box, try an assortment pastries, croissants, cookies, something flaky, something sweet. It feels more personal, more fun, and it’s meant to be shared. (Unless chocolate is their love language. Then absolutely do that.)

Give Something They’ll Actually Use
Personal doesn’t mean expensive. Refill their signature scent. Replace the lip color or balm they wear every day. Upgrade the mug they always reach for. These little things say, “I pay attention.”

Be Intentional
Valentine’s Day is about effort, not excess. Make breakfast. Light a candle. Write a simple note. Take them to their favorite museum, bookstore, park, or coffee shop. Do something you already love doing together, just on purpose.

Thoughtful > Over-the-Top
You don’t need balloons or fireworks. It’s the details that make the day special. Paying attention. Choosing with care. Showing up.

At the end of the day, the best gift is letting someone know you see them and that you chose them, intentionally.