The Price of Accomplishment
I love transitions. The end of every year feels like an opportunity to refine (or reinvent) myself, my habits and my impact on those around me. And I am lucky that my birthday falls in February. So if I have a slow start with my resolutions, I can always have a re-birth a month later.
Throughout 2018 I held the word "challenge" in my mind. I wanted to strive to give my all to everything I tried. And I did. I learned, experienced and accomplished more in 2018 the I have in a very long time.
But it came at a price. While the year was a whirlwind, and I'm quite proud of myself, I realize now that I have lost my ability to quietly sit and do one thing at a time, or nothing at all. It's hard for the people around me to command 100% of my attention, because I am always skipping ahead to the next thing. My husband will laugh at this realization, as I have reprimanded him for years about giving me only part of his mind while the rest wanders.
My Dad and I have a lovely tradition of meeting for coffee one morning a week whenever we're in the same city. My Dad is hard of hearing, so our best chats always happen face to face. This year, during his extended three month visit, we only scheduled our coffee ritual three times. Not because we were too busy, but because I didn't make the time. I'm sorry, Dad.
And I've lost momentum in one of my favorite activities: reading. For the past several months, I pick up a book and only get through about 75 pages before I decide there must be a better book out there that will be more interesting. It's not too late to make sure that does not become a metaphor for my life.
So in the coming year, I plan to set my intention toward focus and mindfulness. I would like to sit by the fire, listen to music and let my hands be idle. I would like to call my Mom when I'm not driving. I would like to pursue activities that so occupy my right brain, I lose track of time and just find fulfillment in the moment. I would like to finish a FlyWheel class without counting how many songs are left til the end of class. I would like to take a walk with my 37 year old camera around my neck and shoot an entire roll of film. I would like to cook something without burning it because I'm trying to unload the dishwasher and clean the pantry as long as I'm in the kitchen anyway.
In a sense, I want to re-learn the art of uni-tasking. Instead of #fomo, I'll embrace #jomo. This year I am looking forward to some quiet accomplishments that remind me of how nice it is to do one thing at a time and really enjoy it. So if you text me and I don't answer right away, don't worry. I will. And I will give you 100% of my attention when I do.
And if I end the year with a shorter list of accomplishments, but a healthier approach to life, work and relationships, I will consider the year a raging success.